Why I don't brush my teeth at work.

Today, right before I was leaving work I went to the bathroom to change from my black work pants to jeans. I went into the stall and heard a series of gurgling and spitting noises from the sink area. To no surprise, a co-worker was brushing her teeth in the sink. You know, everyone here brushes their teeth at work. I don't get it. Do all people that work in offices do this? Is this something I missed out on by working at a non-profit for years? It's not just at the end of the day that you may walk into the bathroom at work and find someone brushing their teeth, shit happens through out the day, morning, noon, late afternoon. I don't really want to see my co-workers brushing their teeth, I don't want to know the sounds they make while they do it, how long they brush, if they clamp their teeth together or brush with a wide-open mouth. That's stuff not even lovers have known about me. I don't know, maybe I'm the odd one here. But you know, they do make really great gum these days; the kind that makes your breath smell good and your mouth feel fresh. I mean, not everyone at work can have halitosis right? There's an exception to the rule, you got chronic bad breath that only medicated toothpaste can cure, brush away. But if you're just worried about talking in a meeting, suck on a mint, use one of those acid like little strips you put on your tongue, altoids, extra strength toxic gum. Anything. I'm used to smelling poop and pee in the bathroom, nasty spit-up toothpaste smell in the sink just ain't right.

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