a bad idea.

I don't really know what made me think it was a good idea to call up a bartender at two in the morning and give him my number, telling him I thought we should "hang out sometime". Not to mention that this particular bartender was 18 years sober and had told me that he doesn't date girls that drink anymore. Sure, he would totally be into hanging out with a wasted girl he had been serving drinks to all night. Forget that he worked at my neighborhood bar, where I briefly worked, and drink often. Forget all that. I was under the influence of my friends that night and they were certain he was hitting on me. And after he followed me out of the bar, I was convinced they were right. But when he followed me out of the bar he didn't really have anything to say, he just kind of looked at me and asked me why I left the bar without saying goodbye. "Well you were talking to a customer" I told him, but what I was thinking was, how come you followed me out of the bar and you aren't making out with me now? It was confusing. And when I met back up with my friends they yelled at me and told me how badly I had blown it. So when I got home that night, more than a little tipsy and still hearing my friends chastising me, well I thought how I would be really flattered if i was bartending and some guy I had thought was cute got home all drunk and late and decided it to call the bar he was just at to give the cute bartender there his number. I would be totally crushed out. Maybe. It seemed to go well enough, I mean, really, I can't honestly tell you how the conversation went cause I was sort of too drunk to remember. But I did give him my number, I know that and I can only hope I wasn't so wasted I gave him the wrong number. I might have done that. Either way it's been two weeks and he hasn't called. And I did tell him I would vist again on the day he worked and I haven't yet. Mostly because I'm assumming that if he wanted to hang out with me he would have called me. And I think that's sort of a fair assumption, but you see, this is my neighborhood bar and I'm sort of bummed I've felt too akward to go back. So Dave and I are on our way there now. Wish me luck.
** update **
On my home tonight, Derek called from New York. Years ago, Derek was just as in love with SF as I am now, but he told me that once you're in NYC you don't even think about SF. And I seriously started thinking about moving there. Not just because I'm tired of certain things here in SF. You know, I have a lot of people I love there, including my family and it's New York. But then there are so many reasons I've been staying away. Bartender guy, not as cute the second time around. I still didn't have to pay for any drinks and he was sweet and all but tonight he told me he's going to quit bartending and go to Cosmotology school. I'm not kidding. He wants to cut hair. Oh he's not gay, he's just a straight man in San Francisco. And at one point in the night he farted really loud and sort of giggled after he did it. That's funny and all, but not so hot. Maybe I'll get a haircut from him in a year, but that's as close as I think we'll ever get. God, New York sounds good to me now.