that was fun.

from the city




to the lake



a night with jake


to the wine country



and back again

poet chain.

I've been carrying around part of McSweeney's issue #22 in my bag since S.L. gave it to me for my birthday. The whole issue is pretty fantastic, it's three books all with magnetic spines that go into one book case with a magnetic spine- so you can pull the separate sections out and carry them around in your bag like I've been doing. The section I'm stuck on is the poets one in which one poem from a poet was picked and then they asked that poet to pick a poem of their own and one by another poet, who then did the same, and then again, and again adding up to about 200 pages of poems. Besides being jammed full of some pretty great poets, I love the chain idea, and how the poets than sort of decided the direction of the entire book really. I'm stuck on a few of the poets I keep reading over and over. Brenda Shaughnessy is one of them, she has a fantastic poem in the book called, I'm Over the Moon, I found some others online that you can read here. I wasn't going to re-type the one that appears in McSweeney's, but I like it so much more than the others I'm finding, so I'll post it below (hope that's OK). I so far I like all I've read of her and by her, and she offers up the best reason I've ever heard for liking the word moist (which has been on the top of my list of most hated words for a while now) "I like words that sound dirty but aren't, words like moist." You can listen to her read her poem, A Good Dress, here.

I'm Over The Moon
Brenda Shaughnessy

I don't like what the moon is supposed to do.
Confuse me, ovulate me,

spoon-feed me longing. A kind of ancient
date-rape drug. So I'll howl at you, moon,

I'm angry. I'll take back the night. Using me to
swoon at your questionable light,

you had me chasing you,
the world's worst lover, over and over

hoping for a mirror, a whisper, insight.
But you disappear for nights on end

with all my erotic mysteries
and my entire unconscious mind.

How long do I try to get water from a stone?
It's like having a bad boyfriend in a good band.

Better off alone. I'm going to write hard
and fast into you moon, face-fucking.

Something you wouldn't understand.
You with no swampy sexual

promise but what we glue to you.
That's not real. You have no begging

cunt. No panties ripped off and the crotch
sucked. No lacerating spasms

sending electrical sparks through the toes.
Stars have those.

What do you have? You're a tool, moon.
Now, noon. There's a hero.

The obvious sun, no bullshit, the enemy
of poets and lovers, sleepers and creatures.

But my lovers have never been able to read
my mind. I've had to learn to be direct.

It's hard to learn that, hard to do.
The sun is worth ten of you.

You don't hold a candle
to that complexity, that solid craze.

Like an animal carcass on the road at night,
picked at by crows,

haunting walkers and drivers. Your face
regularly sliced up by the moving

frames of car windows. Your light is drawn,
quartered, your dreams are stolen.

You change shape and turn away,
letting night solve all night's problems alone.

new rules.

Tonight was about new rules. For some reason Kris started saying, "new rule-- what happens in our house stays in our house", it had a cuter phrasing but involves our address, which I’m not posting here. And the new rule thing sort of got stuck in my head. We played about 8 games of pool tonight and I can't say I won one game. Not a one. I used to be kind of OK at pool, back when I was living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania my senior year in college. That was a fun year. Half of it in PA the other back in Indiana. There was lots of pool that year. Pool in divey bars like Jean's Stumble In and Dee's and always too much to drink. There were lots of other things too but you're probably not interested and even if you are my life at that time was a little too similar to a soap opera and some things even I know I should keep to myself. So instead I'll tell you that tonight I decided I'm going to get really good at pool this summer. I'm not going to commit to a lot of other things I'm trying to do on a regular basis like eat healthy and work out but I am committing to being good at pool again. At least good enough, back where I was at that year I lived in Pittsburgh. And anytime I feel myself obsessing over things I shouldn't be obsessing over I'm going straight to that little bar around the corner from my house and I'm going to play a game of pool. I'm for real. This summer the one thing I am committing to is becoming good at pool. I want nothing else this summer. Well, really, I want a whole lot of things, but see, I'm trying my best to do what my wise friend Shannon tells me to do all the time and that's just be with things. Just as they are. I need to do more of that. And summer is no time for obsessing or fretting. I'm going to wear lots of dresses and be outside as much as I can and maybe travel a bit, somewhere other than to the East coast and I'm going to be good at pool come August. Good enough so that I can at least match Kris 4-4 in 8 games of pool. Just you wait and see. Kris had the idea of getting a pool table for the house tonight but we figured the only place we could really put it was in the front room, which is part of my room, my studio really-- and while I was sort of taken with this idea at first and told him if he bought the pool table I would totally be willing to offer up my space for it-- I wasn't so into the idea when he said he would be in my room at all hours of the night and morning in his boxers practicing his game. Sure there's a sliding door I could close there. But I'm not willing to sacrifice my crafts for my commitment to becoming a semi-decent pool player. That much I'm certain of.

need a distraction?

I've got a new post up on SFist today. Read it here. And someone buy me this ring, OK?

i love the country. . .

but i'll take the city.


for now at least.


some things i saw today that made me appreciate city art. so beautiful and illegal. starting tomorrow i'm carrying my real camera around with me. i like the washed out look my shitty cell phone camera gives these photos, but i want clairty damnit! ha.

oh sunny day.

I had a nice little Sunday morning. I met Jennifer at Mission Pie, which is a great new organic pie place that also has really good coffee and pastries and savory pies. Mission Pie is a product of Pie Ranch which is a center for education and social change. Read about it all here and go and support this yummy place on 25th right off of Mission street.

It was such a purty day yesterday and before I went off to APE I had a nice walk back to my house down some streets I don't frequent much. Check out this tree/memorial I saw on my walk. I sat there a while trying to figure out what it was all about, there were just photos attached to this mesh around a tree. It looked to me like a sort of memorial for people who passed away, but who knows what it is. I love the way the sun bleached these photos - it makes them feel sort of eerie and ancient.

And oh how I love all the cherry blossoms and poppies in bloom. One day I'm getting a big fat California poppy tattooed on me.

zip lines & drag queens.

Last night was Sarah L's 30th and it reminded me of so many things. So maybe I'm still on the birthday theme here- but you know what, birthdays are wonderful things because people are forced to celebrate you, whether they just sort of think you're alright or know you’re a fucking fantastic human being. Sarah was feeling what we should all feel on our birthday, especially our 30th-- lucky and happy and grateful for all the people in her life. At one point she turned to me, we were at Aunt Charlie's in the tenderloin, which is one of the most fantastic drag queen lounges in the city, she just had a look on her face of total amazement. Her eyes were wide and she said she felt like she had all of these fantastic people rain in on her life and she couldn't believe how lucky she was. The way she phrased it was probably a lot more eloquent, but I knew what she was saying- I recognized the shocked look on her face that you get when you can't believe this is your life and your life is pretty alright and half of what makes it so are the people in it. I'm straddling this fine line for some reason on what I should and shouldn't say here- some things feel too personal. But this belongs here, Sarah and her fabulous birthday full of great old drag queens, my god if you haven't been to Aunt Charlie’s get there for a show as soon as you can, it's quintessential San Francisco. Which is another thing that circled the drain in my mind last night- the old constant pull between east and west that I fear I will be forever burdened with. Forever. Sarah is moving to New York. I feel the constant tug to go back there, I want to be back there. But then there's here, with sweet boys from other places telling me I shouldn't move to the east coast, and besides here is pretty great, in oh so many ways. I want my own jet, so I can fly to dinner at Mom's on Sunday, see the little nephew, and then fly back here for work Monday morning. Up to Portland and Seattle the next weekend. Chicago, Shelter Island and Indiana. I need a zip line to these places. I understand I can't afford a jet, but can someone build me a zip line?

good things come from portland.

and good things also come from Molly. Check out her fantastic post today.

more pretty stuff.

not to go on about my birthday, but look at this oh so pretty cd case that chip and koko made me. there was also a great cd inside, that i've been listening to over and over. i wanted to share the track list here, but they didn't write it down (ahem) so you'll just have to trust me on this one.


Shannon's Cannon                                Touriste
Upon this tidal wave of young blood             clap your hands
Decoder ring                                    pufferfish
Mona lisa                                       Michael hurley
God will dry my weeping eyes            Horace family
The great salt lake                             band of horses
Blonde on blonde                                nada surf
The warning                                     hot chip
Louisiana                                       the walkmen
Take a look                                     irma Thomas
Home(naïve melody)                              talking heads
Romulus                                 sufjan stevens
Loro                                            pinback
Dashboard                                       modest mouse
Keep the car running                            the arcade fire
This is how I lay                               palisades
Wordless chorus                         my morning jacket
People                                          el perro del mar
Song of praise for makemo                       unidentified tuamotu singers

some very late birthday photos.

I know it's been a while since I've been here. and I never did tell you about my birthday weekend. Is it too late now? I hope not. I won't get into the nitty gritty details of how many drinks I consumed, all the purty things I got and how it was probably one of the best birthday weekends I've had in a looong long time. and I'm a big birthday person. If you know me at all you know I revert to a 12 year old when it comes to my birthday. I can't help it. This year it was champagne and cupcakes (thanks julie!!) and lots of great friends who made me feel totally and utterly loved from Friday morning until Sunday night (ok -I always feel loved). So thanks to everyone who indulged me. It was fantastic. Here are some photos. And none of me wasted falling over myself, I don't do that sort of thing. I bought tons of flowers to put all over my house for the gathering I had on Saturday night, here they are in the back of alison's car. Thanks for driving me around to get champagne and flowers alison!


And here are some a few days after the party- note the bottles that I didn't clean up until this weekend. Eww. and please ignore the food splattered behind the stove. Aren't they all so pretty? Lots of people gave me flowers too- which made me oh so happy.

And here are some of the cupcakes which Julie made for me. She had them spell out Happy Birthday Christina! And she also made me some mini ones. Julie makes cupcakes for Love At First Bite in Berkeley, you should go there and spend loads of money. I didn't get any really good cupcake porn pics as I was a little distracted with people coming over and giving me stuff, but here are a few, aren't they sweet?

And here's one of my very favorite gifts I got this year, Molly made it for me, it's not the best picture of it, but it says today the entire universe revolves around you. Here it is on the ledge where it lives now and then there's a close up.
On Molly's birthday I left work early, we had a nice lunch and drinks and drinks and then we went shopping, I think this was one of my favorite moments of my b-day weekend, we were in H&M and the lines were ridiculous- so Molly convinced me we should just try stuff on in the store, sort of but not really hidden by some racks of clothing. Don't underestimate drunk shopping- I got a great coat and a fantastic dress I wore for my party. Here's molly outside the dressing room. And that's an edited version of my birthday weekend. it made me realize i need flowers around more often.

**I knew I would get in trouble with someone-- that's what happens when you edit things down so as not become the longest post ever. My actual birthday was on Sunday, I woke up late and was told to take a cab to some place in Cole Valley, I think it was Cole Valley. I can't even remember, I know the address I was given was Parnassus and something. I had one of the best breakfasts ever with some of the best friends ever and the rest of the day was spent in the sun drinking and in the car being stupid and than at koda and chip's somehow consuming even more wine and food. It was the perfect end to the perfect weekend. And I'm not just saying that. I was going to post one of the pictures I have from that day, but I look really puffy and hung over and I'm not sure I want you to see me looking like that. So just imagine loads of sun and yummy eggs and bacon and a tiny little french restaurant that made us all feel like we were in Europe. And then stuff your face with indian pizza and you'll know exactly how we all felt at the end of a very long and lovely weekend. Happy Birthday!

bead expo !

i went to the bead expo last night in Oakland- fun fun. for details and stuff read my SFist post on it here. it's open all weekend long and i highly recommend it. . total bead overload.

God Bless You Mr.Vonnegut

Now I understand my melancholy mood yesterday. link.

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.
-A Man without a Country

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
-Sirens of Titan

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
-Hocus Pocus

building

they finally poured the concrete next door
it was a dark ash in the morning rain
and there's a certain satisfaction knowing what's under there--
the 40's we spilled a month ago, the burrito we never ate,
oil from the old ford i sold before moving to new york three years ago
now there's a new surface,
one that may be there forever
but we are under that cement
our stories rounding out the edges
staining the old parking lot, all saying
we were here
like when they tore up the bathroom four years ago
and we came home late and drunk
found some sharpies and wrote our names
in what could one day be mistaken for a child's hand
we were here
underneath the new tiled walls, now stained with mildew
there we are on rotting redwood
and when we pack up our things
scrub the walls and get the carpet cleaned
no one will ever know

big wheels.

i had a super fantastic birthday weekend. and i'm still sort of recovering. so watch this, and I'll post birthday weekend pictures up here soon.

and so begins..

..my birthday weekend!!! Well, it will officially begin when Molly meets me for lunch and I don't go back to work for the rest of the day. And you know what, today is Molly's birthday! She's written a sweet little post on her blog (which you should be reading on a daily basis) about getting older and I couldn't agree with it more. Sure, maybe I joke around about getting old and sometimes moan that I've actually been on this earth over 30 years (31 thank you), but you know what-- my life is pretty sweet. And more importantly, I love getting older. Really. The view is waaay better from 31 than it was at 21 or 24 or even 28. So I'll mimic Molly's exuberant declaration and say bring it on -- all of it. But first, I'll have a cupcake and champagne filled weekend. See you all at 31, with a belly full of sugar and a slight headache. xox

peeps!

I've got a post on SFist today with loads of links to peep projects and other easter themed crafty stuff read it here.

wine, veggies and the east bay.

I got talked into going to the East Bay last night and I'm so glad I did. Before that I was at Zuni, and you know what? So not impressed. Granted, I hear the roasted chicken is supposed to be amazing, and I just had asparagus soup which was watery and bland. The people I was with had the gnocchi, which was also just so so and the fries, which were too dry and thin and a fava bean dish, which looked the best. My margarita was fantastic though. I guess I should go back and give it a try for an actual meal, not just munchies. Koda and Sarah made this amazing lavish bread pizza when we got to the East Bay, and I didn't write the piece I was supposed to write for SFist. Oops.. guess what I'm doing tonight? Here are some pics from my sweet night in the East Bay.

i'm getting old.

ok, me saying i'm getting old is like all of my skinny ass friends saying they're fat. But you know your body changes the older you get and the deeper you get into your 30's the more you notice things. ok, so I'm only going to be 31, boo fucking hoo, i know.. but my body is changing. i feel like my hair is getting thinner and i have the slightest few hairs on my lip that i never ever had before. i know, i have friends that wax and bleach their shit and i've always smiled smuggly thinking how lucky i was i didn't need to deal with that nonsense... fuck. all of a sudden i have this sinking feeling like i need to find a mate and make babies and convince someone to spend the rest of their life with me before i get REALLY old and saggy. Shit, i just blew all my chances didn't i?

sun + kitties